Miscommunications

When I was younger, I knew someone named Victor. He was cute. Like really cute, the one you'd want to pinch and squish so badly. In a good way. ;) He's got eyes so brown and so serene. He was my seat mate back then. And you know what they say about seat mates, it's either you hate him or you're secretly in love with him.

And I, unfortunately, was in love with him.

He started courting me and the rest was history.

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One day, I found out he was switching schools. I, of course as the girlfriend, was downhearted. I mean, he never told me he was switching schools. I had to find it out myself.

I began crying. Balisa ako the whole day. Ikaw ba naman pagtaguan ng ganun ng boyfriend mo tas sa iba mo pa malalaman. :|

He approached me after the morning classes.

"Uy. Anong nangyari sayo?" Right in front of him, I wanted to break down. But I didn't. I held back the tears and said nothing. Pinilit kong di umiyak sa harapan niya.

I didn't want him to think I meddle with his own personal affairs. But still, at the back of my mind, I know I deserved to know the truth from him. Lalo pa’t this thing would cause problems between us.

I cried because I found out you were switching schools. I wanted to tell him but I didn't. Ayaw kong isipin niyang ganun ako kababaw.

He just walked away without saying another word. Walang words of comfort. Walang goodbye. Wala.

I wasn't able to eat lunch properly because of what happened. Di man lang ako pinansin nung nagkita kami pagkatapos niyang magwalk out sa akin.

"Ohoooooy, earth to Ish, please? I've been blabbering about him-"

"OMG ISH. YOU HAVE TO READ THIS," one of my best friends, Jane Smith, told me with such urgency you just can't ignore, cutting off another friend of mine.

I took the phone from her outstretched hand and read.

"Sabihan mo yang bestfriend mo na wala na kami. Break na kami. Ang OA niya!"

I read the simple text over and over again, not really registering what it said. And when it finally did, I didn't exactly realize I slumped on the nearby bench. Crying.

AKO NA ANG OA NGAYON, ganun na ba yun?! Porket di ko lang sinabi na umiyak ako dahil aalis siya, OA agad? Di ba pwedeng di ko sinabi dahil ayokong isipin niyang mababaw ako?

So yun. Di kami nag-usap ng isang taon since then. Kahit magkaklase kami, wala. Kahit seatmates kami, walang kibuan.

At yun pa yung pinakamasakit. You know he’s just right next to you and yet it feels like he’s a world away.

Miscommunications really do lead to fall out. -.-

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PS.

To HIM, you might be reading this now. Don’t get mad. I wrote this because you never knew how I felt. And I wanted you to know in the best way I can. Through this blog.